Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Listen Up!

I have a trainer at my gym. He is fantastic and a huge companion of mine on this weight loss journey. During our workouts I have broke down, cried, pushed myself, ran away, laughed, learned and became stronger with every squat, lunge, and push-up.

A few days ago we were working out and he was yelling at me (I pay him the big bucks to yell at me). That particular day I had had enough with his yelling so in best sassy voice I yelled back at him. I told him that all his is yelling was negative and that he should try saying a word of encouragement every once and awhile. He stopped me and told me he said, "I say positive things all of the time- YOU DONT HEAR THEM."

WHAT? I'm not deaf. I hear just fine. In the moment I did not understand instead I just continued to squat. Later on I thought more about what he said and wondered what he meant. Do I really not hear the positive, good things people say? I came to the conclusion that I do hear them but often I do accept them.

A few years ago an old woman came up to me on the street and told me I was beautiful. I said thank you and walked away. My roommate, at the time, made me stop what I was doing and really think about that. She pointed out that there was tons of other woman but there was something special, beautiful about me that made the old woman speak to me. Except I barely noticed however if that woman had walked up to me and told me I was fat I would have definitely taken that to heart.

What is wrong with my brain that all I hear or take to heart is the negative? I need to learn to really accept and take in the positive things that people say. Most importantly I think this all goes back to what I say to myself and you know I'm working on that. Today numerous times I said to myself I LOST WEIGHT, I LOST WEIGHT, I LOST WEIGHT. I haven't weighed in yet this week but I am talking myself into believing in myself and my ability to lose weight.

I WILL LOSE WEIGHT, I WILL LOSE WEIGHT, I WILL LOSE WEIGHT, I WILL LOSE WEIGHT, I WILL LOSE WEIGHT, say it with me! (or say whatever you need to tell yourself to keep pressing on)


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