DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH "SORE."

Seriously. I can not get those images out of my head. I am scared to go back and look for a more appropriate picture.

Anyway.

I am so completely sore today. It is amazing. It was less amazing when I was doing Insanity, but as Jillian Michaels says, "that pain your feel is your body changing." I had a crazy good unofficial weigh-in today, and I'm trying to beat it at my official weigh-in Tuesday. We'll see. I'm starting to be actually confident that I can have the body that I want this summer. This is going to be one of the hardest points to push through - when I need to work out despite my entire body hurting.

Some other little highlights:

• Someone today, seeing me eating healthy, sarcastically said, "your waistline is really getting out of control." I freaked for a second but realized he had no idea I had ever known me fat and was teasing me for being so skinny. LIFE. GOAL. ACHIEVED.
• My work BFF Pete coincidentally started working out the same day I started P90X. We did pushups on our lunch breaks! Ok...so we also tried to go to IHOP but the line was CRAZY so we went to Whole Foods. It was an act of God I'd say.
• I don't know if you've noticed everyone changing their Facebook pictures to celebrities they look like, but its apparently all the rage this week. I realized I hadn't gone to that website where you submit your photo and it says who you look like since I was fat. It said I look like Ricky Martin. I realize that I don't, but it used to tell me that I looked like Patsy Cline. Small victories.
• OMG I just uploaded a different pic and it said Topher Grace! He's so cute! Now I just need to ask him how he got his body like that in the Valentine's Day Trailer.

Aight folks. Gotta get my beauty sleep as tomorrow is the best day of the month: FREE PIZZA MONDAY at Planet Fitness.

How did everyone do this weekend?

And just like that, Former Fattie February began.

It is crazy to me how much one workout can change my mindset.

I woke up early on this Saturday morning to go to Planet Finess with my P90X on my phone. My college roommate and sometime gym buddy (and Liz's cousin!) Will and I have decided to commit to doing the strength days of P90X on Saturdays, Mondays, and Wednesdays. I'm going to intersperse Insanity, since I think it is a much more fun and challenging workout than P90X's non-strength workouts. In theory I'm going to do an adjusted version of P90X "Doubles" in months two and three. To me, that means doing Insanity 6 Days a week in addition to P90X strength workouts at the gym 3 days a week. That leaves one day completely workout free. Both P90X and Insanity have built in "recovery" weeks every four weeks, so I'm already looking forward to those.

I'll admit it was a bit of an adjustment doing P90x at the gym, particularly since someone was using the assisted-pullup machine most of the first half. I subbed the back pulldown machine for that and I think it was totally better than what I would have done at home...done three pullups and then just stood around waiting for the next workout. Eventually the assisted-pullup machine freed up. That thing is so fun, especially since it makes me feel SO STRONG!

After I work out really hard, I always do much better nutritionally. Today is no exception. I am in the IMAX theatre waiting for Avatar to start (I am blogging this with 3D glasses on. The words are popping out.) I smuggled in a pouch of peanuts and raisins (3 pts.) a bottle of water and a FiberOne bar (2 pts.)

I was worried about today's eating but not tomorrow's...so I guess I'm not screwing up between now and February. And February is going to be amazing.

Here we go kids.

The weekend is almost upon us!

Last week the weekend derailed me. Not this weekend. No how. No way.

Strategies to have a healthy weekend (I love bullet points, if you haven't noticed):

• Plan, Plan, Plan: I want to plan my meals and snacks out. (Tonight's plan: I'm going to a happy hour with some co-workers at a bar that has a free buffalo wings. I do not want to eat chicken wings. One chicken wing is 3points. I don't even really like chicken wings but if go without having dinner, have a beer, and everyone around me is eating them I end up eating a wing. Tonight I will have a filling snack before meeting everyone and keep a snack in my bag in case I get really hungry.)
• Exercise: last weekend I only got 1/2 an hour of exercise in but this weekend I want to go to a yoga class and get in a great workout!
• Track: Last weekend I didn't track anything. This weekend I want to stay accountable of what I'm eating and drinking by tracking everything.
• Relax and Enjoy the People I am with NOT THE FOOD!! Socialize with my friends not the chicken wings.

Wish me luck on the healthy weekend and have yourself a great weekend!

Re: 10 Things To Do (Besides Eat)

I'm sure by my next post we will be into Former Fattie February, and since that means NO CHEATING, it's a great time to remember little ways to help myself meet that goal.

1. Play piano
2. Sing
3. Make a track

The only time that I forget to eat is when I'm making music. It's good to remember I'm more passionate about something than I am about appetizers.

4. Talk to a friend, particularly a co-blogger
5. Do something social not centered on food
6. Blog

Friends and support are so much better than pizza, right? RIGHT!??!? Right.

7. Work out

Half the time I eat it's because I'm antsy. I should use that energy for good, not evil.

8. www.thepinesfireisland.com

A beachful of attractive gays and every one of them has a sixpack. I want to go to there. Soon.

9. Watch Glee.

Apparently the new gay they are casting is a "jock." Time to pack on the muscle.

10. Read old blogs/ look at before and afters

Remember that change can happen when I try hard enough. And that I should be acting more like Febuary 2009 Bobby than Fat Bobby.

Katy?

10 Things To Do (Besides Eat)

Yesterday I blogged about bingy-ness due to tiredness and as fate would have it when I went to a Weight Watchers Meeting this morning with my momma (my mom lost 5.4lbs!!! Go Momma!!) the meeting topic was:

EMOTIONAL EATING!!!

When the leader asked if anyone in the group was an emotional eater- no joke- the entire group raised their hands. We discussed how we eat when we're- lonely, sad, bored, happy, angry, tired (yesterday), just about any emotion caused people to eat. So the leader gave us a little homework- make a list of 10 things you can do rather than eat when you're feeling emotional. I wanted to share with you my list.

1. Phone/Email a friend
2. Take my dog for a walk
3. Cry
4. Nap
5. Exercise
6. Watch a movie
7. Blog/Journal
8. Take a Bath
9. Read
10. Go Shopping

What are 10 things you can do besides eat?

Bad Night's Sleep = Bingy-ness

Last night I just could not sleep. I stayed up too late watching an episode of Biggest Loser (that I did not like too much drama, not enough about weight loss) and afterwards I could not sleep. I tossed and turned, woke up a few times, and could not get comfy. We've all had those nights, right?

Well last night effected my entire day today:

• When I went to the gym I felt so sluggish. I usually would workout with my trainer, take a spin class, and do a few ab exercises. My workout usually lasts about 2hrs. Today I worked out with my trainer than rode a bike for a few minutes and left after 45minutes.
• I was pissy and irritable. At one point in the day I wondered if my time of the month - its not. I snapped at my family members when all they were doing was asking how my day was. Bad daughter.
• Lastly all I wanted to was EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT! For the past few days I have been in awesome control. I was easily making healthy food choices, following the healthy guidelines, and eating lots of yummy fruits and veggies. However today I felt bingy all day long.

Bingy is an overwhleming feeling of wanting to eat anything and everything as quickly as possible. It's a way I self medicate so I don't have to feel whatever unpleasant feelings I may be experiencing. Today I wanted to cover my feelings of tiredness with fullness. However that would have made me feel worse in the long run.

I was able to fight the bingy-ness for most of the day. I ended up only going over my points by 3 so not bad at all. I just wish I could have snapped out of it. At least now I'm aware of it and hopefully in the future I will be able to ward of the bingy-ness and allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling.

A Day in the Life of Liz (food wise)

Good Morning: 7 points

• 2tbsp of Peanut Butter extra cunky style - 5pts (its a lot of points but I love love love peanut butter so I refused to 86 it from my diet)
• light bread- 0pts
• glass of skim milk - 2pts

Midday: 5 points

• Spinach Wrap- 1pt
• 1/4 cup of cheddar fat free shredded cheese- 1pt
• 2cups of Chili- 2pts
• 1/4cup of sour cream, fat free- 1pt

Afternoon snack: 3pts

• Coffee with skim milk and spenda- 1pt
• Banana- 2pts

Evening: 7pts

• 3oz of beef flank steak- 4pts
• medium sweet potato- 2pts
• mushrooms- 0pts
• onions -0pts
• 1 tsp olive oil- 1pt

Evening Snack: 3.5pts

• banana- 2pts
• 1c of strawberries- .5pts
• 1c of blueberries- 1pt
• 2tbps of fat free whip cream- 0pts

What have you guys been eating?

My own life.

Of all the things Barack Obama said on the campaign trail last year, there was one statement that I remember literally striking me in the gut:

Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time.

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

Regardless of what you think of the man or his politics--I have a whole variety of thoughts that I'd be happy to discuss with you on some other blog--I would imagine these words resonate with all former fatties.

For me, 2010 is really the year that I make my own life. It is time for me to stop dreaming or wanting and instead take all of the talents and opportunities I have (almost unfairly) been given and make something of myself.

I blog a ton about my inability to stay focused for more than a few days. I need a kick start to feel the motivation that only a taste of success can provide. Really, if I stuck with it for maybe two weeks that would probably be enough, but I'm instead going back to my roots and kicking ass for all of February.

No drinking. No fast food. LOTS of working out.

Unsurprisingly, I've been pretty lax now that I feel like I'm in the run up to something big. But, I will not wait for another time. Tomorrow is Tuesday, the start of my Weight Watchers week. I may not be quite as hardcore as I am going to be in February, but I want to make this week count. Also, I just last week noticed that WW now allows you to track body measurements, so I'm going to start doing that.

121 days (and 21 hours, 45 minutes) till Memorial Day weekend. Every day counts. I really have to be doing this for myself, but I'm going to need all the support I can get from Katy, Liz, and our commenters, and plan on giving as much as I'm getting. We are the ones we've been waiting for.

I swear I googled "February 2010" and this is what came up. I don't feel bad for posting it though cause hot guys on the beach are hella-good motivation, it includes a very relevant tip (it is from Men's Health) and the guy is now on the Vampire Diaries...which I'm secretly obsessed with. So is a co-blogger, but I won't out her.

The Weekend is OVER!

I had a fantastic weekend! It was my friend Beth's birthday so we went out in Hoboken and had a blast! We danced, laughed, dominated a beer pong (just kidding I'm awful) all in all an awesome time except for the food. Unfortunately the food and drink that accompanied the weekend were cheeseburgers, french fries, pizza, beer, shots, wine, and cake. Whoops! I did well before we began drinking but once a little alcohol goes into my system making healthy food choices become so much more difficult.

I am trying not to get down on myself for making unhealthy choices and focus on the fact that I had a great weekend and TODAY IS A NEW DAY!

Today I will make healthy decisions. I am tracking all my points, hitting the gym, and staying positive!

HAPPY MONDAY!

Being Vulnerable is Being Strong

I love the Biggest Loser! Disclaimer: I understand that the Biggest Loser sets unreal expectations of weight loss- the average person cannot lose 30lbs a week. However I find the show inspiring, motivating, and thought provoking. One of the reasons I love Biggest Loser is because of Jillian. She is fantastic at getting into the contestants head and helping them understand the reason for their behaviors. Last night Jillian said to a contestant:

"It's Strength to Show Vulnerability!"

When Jillian said that I felt the truth of that statement resonate in me. I believe that it is so important to do things out of our comfort zones. We need to look fear and uncertainty in the face in order to grow. But how do we do that? How do you do that?

Today I saw my dad be strong and show vulnerability. My father is overweight, on numerous medications, and at risk for diabetes for months I have been encouraging him to join my gym. Today was the day that he said yes. I packed his gym bag, gave him a bottle of water, and sent him on his way to meet with the gym director. I was nervous I wanted him to feel comfortable and start working on being healthy. I could not be more proud of my dad. At 64 years old he signed up for the gym and has an appointment with a personal trainer tomorrow! Hooray Dad!

SO I witness someone being vulnerable. Today I was vulnerable at the gym- my trainer always pushes me to do things out of my comfort zone- today I ran up 10 flights of stairs holding 16lbs over my head. Another way I plan on being vulnerable today is not health related but I have been saying to Bobby that I want to find a creative outlet. Whenever I draw, write, sing, whatever I tend to feel really self conscience but not today. Today I will do something creative. Every day I want to try and be vulnerable and open in order to grow.

How do you get out of your comfort zone?

FULL DISCLOSURE

OK, so I promised to share both up and down, right? Here goes.

At open bars, there is always such a fight to get enough drinks for it to be worth the money. I, however am completely immune to this problem. I find the token-hot-female-bartender, say something sassy, drink my drink amusingly quickly, ask for another and...voila! Hookup for the night! Seriously, I literally stand behind all the guys who are hitting on her, clearly putting me further back in line, and smile at her and she gets me another drink! It is the best!

Problem is, this power goes to my head. I feel like if I'm going to be a bar where there are essentially no dating prospects for me, I should get to lord my gift over my more heterosexual peers. It is all great fun until someone ends up asleep on the LIRR.

On Saturday, I directly promised Liz that I wouldn't make it one of those nights after she agreed to go out with me on ten minute's notice when she had just gotten off the plane from her cruise (Award. Winning. Rally.) Problem was...this bar's token-hot-female-bartender had absolutely no interest in me. HELLO!?!? I'm wearing a tie! I was seriously turing it up so hard but she would not even smile back at me.

I had made Liz a promise...but this woman was challenging my very identity. If I can't win over an attractive female...who am I?

So yea...a few minutes later, she succumbed, bought me a shot, and the night quickly turned into this:

If I had seen that picture yesterday, I could have simply published it here and saved myself a lot of words in my "why am I still working out post." I mean...sometimes I drink and fall asleep with a chalupa in my hand. What of it? And from certain angles I still look 300 pounds.

I am going to go do Insanity. Right this second. In the meantime, you can all enjoy this earlier-in-the-evening photo of me and Liz. Doesn't she look hot in my coat?

And this one is the most stereotypically gay-faced picture I've ever taken, but my jaw line exists in it, so I must post it to counteract the sleeping blob above.

PS: My grandma, who sometimes wobbles when she walks, just called and said, "I seem drunk so I'm thinking of just taking up the drink. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Yes. Yes it does.

PPS: Sometime in the middle of the day on Sunday I burped and thought, "Chalupa?"

Pasta Alfredo with Peas

Normally, 1 cup of fettuccine alfredo will run you a hearty 16 points. Olive Garden's entree has 1220 calories and 75 grams of fat. SEVENTY FIVE GRAMS OF FAT. However, as I have now made it my personal mission to renovate every recipe to be healthier, all whilst using only the ingredients I have in my house. Which means next up is probably hummus-raspberry preserves-frozen polenta goulash with a size of disgusting soy ice cream and roasted red peppers. I need to go food shopping.

Without further ado:

Pasta Alfredo with Frozen Peas
(adapted from the Fettuccine Alfredo with Bacon recipe I found in my Cooking Light magazine. Nix the meat, add some veg.)


Sorry about the lame-ness and grainy-ness of the picture. Some day I'll stop using my Blackberry for pictures and start using the beautiful SLR I "borrowed" from Alex. I also inhaled most of it before I could remember to take a pic.

• 9 oz whole wheat pasta (I used Barilla Plus Spaghetti since we had no fettuccine)
• 1 tsp minced garlic
• 2 tsp Bertolli Extra virgin olive oil
• 1 Tbsp all-purpose flour
• 1 cup 1% low-fat milk
• 3/4 cup Grated Pecorino Romano cheese
• 1 cup frozen green peas
• 2 Tbsp parsley
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper

Makes 4 1-cup servings at 8 points each.

1. Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain in colander, and reserve 1/4 cup of the pasta water for later.
2. While pasta cooks, sauté minced garlic in olive oil for 1 minute, constantly stirring.
3. Sprinkle flour over garlic; cook 30 seconds. Again, keep stirring.
4. Gradually add milk, stir constantly; cook 2 minutes or until bubbly and slightly thick. Keep on stirring. Reduce heat to low.
5. Gradually add cheese and - yes - keep stirring until it's melted.
6. Stir in salt and 1/4 cup reserved pasta water.
7. Add hot pasta and frozen peas to pan; toss well to combine. (The heat thaws the peas out just fine, in my experience)
8. Garnish with parsley and pepper to taste.

I had a pretty unfortunate case of food sickness back in high school from fettuccine alfredo. It was one of my first dates with my high school boyfriend, and he took me to an authentic Italian restaurant where I'm pretty sure they mixed a raw egg into the pasta. A few hours later, a major blizzard, being snowed in at my best friends house (which otherwise would've been a lot of fun), I have strong memories of laying outside the bathroom with my face pressed against the wood floors "because it felt nice and cold."

On that note, I assure you this dish had the exact opposite effect. It was so good. And to quote Alex, "I just want to keep eating it. I just want the taste to stay in my mouth."

(That's what he said. Ew. Sorry.)

Why am I still doing this?

I don't mean blogging, I mean trying so hard to get in shape. I realized this morning that I actually need to stop and remind myself. I had been focusing so hard on the deadline of my photo-shoot that I now find myself struggling to feel any sense of urgency. And that is dangerous. So, here is a random sampling of reasons that I should be counting my points and working out every day:

Because this picture was taken after I had previously lost 20 pounds:

Let that be a reminder of how quickly you can let it slip away. And yes that meal is named after me.

Because it makes me feel good.

I was in a real funk last week, having nothing to do with fitness. I want to thank the girls for helping me through that, but I really regret using it as an excuse to let fitness fall by the wayside.

I'm a huge believer in headspace. I just felt like I had so much on my mind, like I was so drained, that I couldn't possibly be bothered to work out and count each freaking thing that I put in my mouth. What I need to remind myself in these times is that this can actually be part of the solution, not the problem. What better way to clear your head than to think of nothing more than trying to survive for an hour of working out?

Besides the endorphins and all that business, the sad truth is that I just feel better in general when I think that I look good. That is part of the reason I like getting dressed up all spiffy [Photoshoot Preview #1]:

Because I never know who or what the day might bring.

Little deadlines are great motivators, but I want to get to the point of looking great and feeling great all the time. Life can be really fun when you're a single young gay in New York who loves what he does. I don't ever want to miss out on something or hold myself back because I don't feel hot enough. Screw that.

Because of the sheer terror of summer.

The weeks slip by so quickly this time of year. The Memorial Day Countdown Clock is officially ticking, folks: 132 days, 5 hours. Thats around 18-19 weeks. Enough time to get ripped, for sure. Also enough time to look exactly like I do right now.

And finally, because they are casting Kurt's boyfriend for season 2 of Glee.

And you know who is perfect for that role? This guy [Photoshoot Preview 2]:

So, commenters and especially fellow bloggers, why do you want to be in better shape than you are today?

THE TIME IS NOW!

Well Home Sweet Home! Towards the end of the cruise I was feeling rested, relaxed, passionate, excited, and ready to get back into my healthy lifestyle. But than when I actually came home and just felt:
My first two days home I didn't go to the gym, making healthier choices seemed so hard, and I felt so unfocused. While on the cruise I thought of so many things that I want to do with my life:

I want to eat healthy.

I want to exercise.

I want to meditate.

I want to practice yoga regularly.

I want to think positively.

I want to be open.

I want to do more triathlons.

I want to be emotionally healthy.

I want to appropriately handle stress.

I want to look dead sexy.

I want I want I want............

But how? How do I get these things? How do I do it? I was feelings so overwhelmed

Than the answer is simple: Me. Putting one foot in front of the other every day and taking those small steps to becoming the woman I want to be.

And today I did just that. I woke up ate a delicious, nutritious smoothie for breakfast, bought new sneakers, worked out, ate Katy's sweet potato and bean enchiladas FANTASTIC! (I used black beans instead) YUMMY!

Overall I just feel better today. I am more confident and sure of my abilities. All of these things that I want are all attainable things and I can and will attain them. : )

Vegetarian sweet potato and bean enchiladas

My co-bloggers seem to be MIA, I'm guessing Liz has been swept up by the pirates of the Carribean. And Bobby... not sure. Bobby?

Last night for dinner I tried a new recipe. It was inspired by Hungry Girl's Pumpkin Enchiladas, but then adjusted to my liking and also to include the ingredients I had en la casa.

The result: DELISH! And super filling. And, these guys are only 6 points per enchilada!

• 4 Smart & Healthy Low Carb Whole Wheat Tortillas (or any other 1-point tortilla)
• ~4oz (it came to 4 points on my scale) baked sweet potato, chopped/mashed
• 1 cup of fat free refried beans
• 1/4 cup red onion, chopped
• 1 cup bell peppers, chopped (I used 1 red and 1 green)
• 2 tbsp taco seasoning
• 2/3 cup shredded cheese
• enchilada sauce
  

(My measurements of ingredients are approximate, since I prefer to measure in handfuls and pinches.)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a pan sprayed with non-stick spray, brown the peppers and onions until the onions start to brown. Remove from heat and place in a bowl.

To the vegetable bowl, add beans (mine were room temperature straight from the can), sweet potato (I reheated mine since it was in the fridge) and taco seasoning, and mix. Add salt and pepper to taste, if desired.

Lay out the tortillas. Spread the center with 2 tbsp enchilada sauce and 2 tbsp shredded cheese.

Divide the bean/vegetable mixture evenly amongst the 4 tortillas. Wrap and place seam-side down in a pan that has been sprayed with non-stick spray.

Bake for 5-10 minutes, until warm. Remove from oven, top with enchilada sauce and cheese, and bake until melted. Remove from oven, and enjoy, just like the boyfriend did:

I'm all mushy inside (and outside).

I took some pictures of my lunch yesterday, which essentially, was a smaller-portioned meal of dinner the day before!

I was really excited to share this with the blog world, and then realized after I took the picture that it looks like I'm eating colorful, mushy dog food.




Baked sweet potato topped with black beans, hot sauce and sour cream.
And a salad (albeit a little bit soggy at that point), with cherry tomatoes, red onions, avocados, apricots and balsamic vinaigrette.

So, in a few weeks is Restaurant Week here in NYC, where some really great restaurants offer a discounted usually-3-course prix-fixe lunch and dinner menu. Seeing how I love going out to eat, I am taking mega advantage of this:

• Wednesday: Dinner at Butter with my best girlfriends. I was between that and Barbounia, but of course, Butter won because we've heard it mentioned on Gossip Girl before. And because Kirsten said they have nice bathrooms.
• Thursday: Lunch at Artisanal with a sweet work friend of mine. She asked me if I liked cheese, and then the decision was instantly made. They have a grilled cheese with bacon and apple on the menu, and I think that's going to be the death of me. I might just have to (intentionally) eat the pig.
• Sunday: Dinner at Mercer Kitchen with Alex, after we go see In the Heights (as a Christmas gift from his aunt). Anyone who knows me knows my hatred for Times Square and the Theater District, so I wanted to get out of there ASAP after the show. I hate tourists, and I love SoHo. Mercer Kitchen looks fab and like a sweet date spot.

It only happens twice a year, so I really don't feel bad about indulging a bit. In fact, I'm quite excited about it. I've also decided instead of using this blog solely to bitch about being a fatty, I'm going to do some restaurant/recipe reviews - so stay tuned!

PS. Krittie over at Healthy Living (One Day at a Time) is having a VitaTops giveaway. Check out her blog and enter to win a big sampler pack. These things are seriously good.

Show and Tell - WW food scale

Being mindful of my Free-Form goal this week, I have been putting a little extra work into my meals lately. Sunday night, I made veggie burgers (Morningstar Farms Grillers Vegan), roasted asparagus (forgot how much I love that) and home-made sweet potato fries. Last night, I made baked sweet potatoes topped with black beans (which I'd seen somewhere in the blogosphere), low fat sour cream and hot sauce. Alex made a delicious organic salad of mesculun greens, cherry tomatoes, avocados and apricots (I think?) with Trader Joe's fat free Balsamic Vinaigrette. It was delightful.

What was probably the most fun was when I whipped out one of my Christmas presents: The Weight Watchers Food Scale.

I've always told myself I was good about guessing the size/weight of my portions, but really, I suck at it. This scale made it very clear to me. Not only does it weigh the food for you (anything up to almost 7 pounds - who is eating 7 pounds of anything at once?), but it also has tons of food pre-programmed in with points values. For example, one of the sweet potatoes (or yams, according to the scale) was huge, yes, and 9 points! I never would have counted 9 points for a SWEET POTATO! Needless to say, I only ate half of that bad boy.

So last night was a very sobering realization that I most likely grossly underestimate the point values (and serving sizes) of almost everything I eat. I think now I'll probably be obsessed with counting, pre-measuring and weighing things for a little while (like my lunch - leftovers - which i pre-calculated to be 7 points where I probably would've normally counted 5). It will be a good exercise for me, and an annoying one for everyone else.

Speaking of lunch... time to eat.

My week in brief.

So it is clearly almost 2 AM so I'm going to pull the "just got back home" card and delay my weekly goal-by-goal post until tomorrow. A side effect of that is that I get to feel really great about myself. When you really get down to the details, I did pretty terribly this week, actually. In a broad overview though, this week was incredible. It comes down to two examples:

• In November-ish, I tried on size 30 waist jeans and was delighted/astounded that they fit. I promptly asked for them for Christmas. Christmas arrived and while I could technically get them on, I'm not sure they could have legally be considered a "fit." I brought them on my roadtrip thinking I'd squeeze into them for my photoshoot, but no squeezing was required! At all! My stated mission for this chapter of our journey is to just have a tighter body, regardless of weight, and I'm not sure there could be a more tangible sign that I've taken a step in the right direction.
• I'm not sure if I've ever blogged this or just said it to Katy and Liz a million times, but I've often daydreamed about going beyond "not fat" into "people talk about how hot I am when I leave the room." Well...it happened! You know how in movies/trainwreck reality shows there is often someone who has had a traumatic childhood and never been told, "I love you" by anyone until the person of their dreams/some vaguely-licensed counselor says it to them without realizing that it was a wonderful turning point in the character/skeezebag's life? It was like that, but way vainer.

I'm loving the feedback we've been getting, so readers / fellow bloggers, has anyone ever made your day without even realizing it?

OK there is no good reason I am awake right now.

Home sweet home.

I have returned from my mini-vaca in the very cold state of Vermont. Tucked away in mother natures quiet places, we didn’t have any internet service at our condo so I wasn’t able to blog. I’ll try to keep the summary brief.

My skiing history is limited and traumatic. I had a ski accident/incident when I was in 4th grade and created a human avalanche of people (starting with me), that was much more painful to my ego and psyche than it was to any part of my body. However, it kept me off the slopes for over 10 years. In 2008, I went skiing twice, not getting off the bunny hill either time but still making some progress. Not totally hating it, at least. So I decided to try and man up this time around (I really didn’t want my family and boyfriend to think I was a baby). I took a lesson, and went down the easiest run on the mountain three times! VICTORY!! So proud of myself, I “graduated” from ski school and said goodbye to my nice middle aged moustache-wearing instructor, and set to show of my new skill set to my family.

Ehhh not so much. I totally got inside my head and panicked. Made it about 3/4 of the way down the mountain on skis, decided this wasn’t fun anymore and took them off. I attempted to use the evening to relax myself and pump myself up for skiing day 2, but history is bound to repeat itself. 10 feet from the chair lift at the top of the run, one panic attack, and a brief snow patrol snowmobile ride later, it’s safe to say I’m putting my skis to rest, at least for a little while. (My boyfriend knows I am a baby and loves me anyway.) I can still dress like a snow bunny and hang out in the lodge with the best of them, this time not ruining my makeup with mascara tracks down my face, thank you.

I had a great time with my family and my new meat-restricted diet (as “vegetarian” sounds like too much of a plunge at this time). I had one slip up – a slice of bacon, of course – as my brothers were cooking breakfast and I popped a piece in my mouth without thinking about it. Otherwise, cutting meat from my diet for the past week has been really easy! Dare I say it’s even been kinda fun?

LAST WEEKS GOALS:
FOOD:
- Track what I eat. Stay within my allotted 20 Weight Watchers points per day and 35 weekly points.
I probably scored a D- on this. I tracked for the beginning half of the week, and wrote down everything I ate (but didn’t calculate points) for the first couple days in Vermont. Then I stopped writing, and started drinking. Overall, I didn’t do horribly but I’m not expecting to see weight loss this week. I am not disappointed.
FITNESS:
- Exercise 2x in the fitness room at our condo. Try skiing for at least 1 day.
I’d give myself a B+ here. I tried skiing for 1.25 days, did yoga one day, and yesterday I went to the gym (we left really early to drive back, so even though my workout was here in Brooklyn, I’m counting it on vacation time). Also, walking in ski boots should be considered a workout of it’s own.
FREE-FORM:
- Overall, I’m just going to try to keep it under control on our mini-vaca, and not get stressed out (funny how family vacations do that).
I get an A-. Minus one baby stress-induced freakout I had a ton of fun with my fam and more or less didn’t go too buck wild with the eating – minus 1 night with an extreme whiskey binge to compliment a roaring game of Balderdash. I paid for the whiskey the entire next day.

THIS WEEKS GOALS:
FOOD:
- Track meals. Count points. Lose at least 1 lb.
FITNESS:
- Work out 3x. Yoga 3x in addition in the morning or before bed.
FREE-FORM:
- Find some new recipes to try and get back into cooking! I bought a new cutting board and dish towels to motivate myself.

Ups and downs.

For all the Former Fattie fans out there: all three Former Fatties are away for the weekend (or longer.) On behalf of Katy and Liz, enjoy the next few days, and stay strong. We'll all be checking in when we get back to let you know how we did.

I would not set expectations too high, as I am currently tipsy and eating the most delicious Napoleon of my life.


Also, there is a dog here.

So our Week 1 summaries are sure to be filled with moments we are proud of and moments we are not. What will there be more of? I'm sure the suspense is killing you. Stay tuned...

Greetings from JFK Airport!

Goodbye cold New York and HELLO! Sunny beautiful Puerto Rico!!

I am leaving today for a seven day Caribbean cruise and I could not be more excited and nervous.

Katy mentioned that the average America gains 6lbs on a cruise. That is BANANAS! However I will not be the average American I plan on combating this by:

1. Exercising I packed my faithful sneakers and plenty of workout clothes. There is a gym and a running track on the boat. I have been complaining about how it is too cold to run outside in NY but now I'll be able to run again! Also I'll be swimming!! I love to swim especially on beautiful sandy beaches.

2. I am currently reading "Believe It, Be It: How Being on the Biggest Loser Won me back my life" by Ali Vincent. She was the first female biggest loser and an overall rockstar. I am really enjoying the book and it is a great way to keep me motivated.

3. My computer. While I am probably not going to be blogging for the week. I will continue to keep my food journal.

This brings me to my goals for the week:

Food Goal: Realistically I will eat a bit more than usual this week but I'm okay with that because I lost 4lbs this week rather than my goal of 2lbs. So I just want to come out of this week breaking even. I will control the food not by tracking calories or points but just being mindful and writing down everything I eat.

Exercise Goal: Stay active! I want to use the gym, exercise, swim but I am going to take the stairs the entire week never the elevator.

Personal Goal: I am going to go on a hiking excursion in the rainforest and swim with sea turtles!!! Pictures to follow.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK! CHEERS!

1st Binge of the New Year

Ughhh blah! TOO FULL!!!! I feel pregnant with a baby of greek food.

Know that feeling?

Dinner tonight my mom who has been working so hard lately said I don't want to cook- Let's order out. She picks our favorite Greek restaurant. I love this place. (Bobby we went there with Liz W. remember?) There are tons of healthy options and the most delicious greek salads in the world. But I had just had a big greek salad for dinner two nights before so I didn't want to have that agin. So instead I end up ordering this a combo meal with lamb, beef, chicken, peas, rice- so yummy. Instead of just eating until I was full I just ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate ate...you get the idea.

Finally I just got up from the table and started cleaning up. But I wasn't done yet. I was so disappointed. I had been doing so well this year and I had ruined all my hard work (I realize now outside from the moment that this is not logical but it is how my mind works mid-binge). About 15minutes after dinner I polished off 2 1/2 100 calorie packs and a hot chocolate.

NOW I AM DONE!

I am not going to change overnight. I have been disorderly eating for years so it is going to take time and hard work to overcome these behaviors. Now is the time. I do not want to feel like this anymore. I want to be happy and healthy.

Bobby's World

Hello Former Fatties. I'm hoping we've got some new readers and this really feels like a fresh start, so here's a recap of my story in brief.

This is me:

OK...that was me. This was me too:

Please observe the plate of meat in front of me.

Like Liz, I'd always been chubby, and eventually that evolved into man-sized fat. In college there was a (unfathomably delicious) special named after me at the local pizza place. Which I ate just about every day. At least once.

That second picture was taken in January of 2008, at my heaviest - 205 lbs at least. I'd had two experiments with not-fatness before this. Between my sophomore and junior years of high school I travelled the entire country for 50 days with 20 students and six teachers (many of

whom were younger than I am now. That makes me feel so old and also makes me appreciate how much fun they must have had.) I dropped almost 30 pounds (umm...that is insane math) due to all of the hiking and controlled eating. Eventually though, my weight crept back up.

Going into my senior year of college I challenged a roommate to a summer weightloss challenge and won by going from 202 to about 179 pounds. It was at this point that I learned some valuable lessons:

• I can lose weight and be fit if I actually dedicate myself to it.
• There is almost nothing as satisfying as someone not recognizing you because you've dropped so many pounds.

Unfortunately, I also learned that you can't take your thinness for granted. By Thanksgiving, I had put back on zero pounds. By graduation, I was close to 200 again. By the next January...see the above photo.

With my sister's wedding approaching, I started trying to eat right and work out. I wasn't particularly consistent and only lost a few pounds by the April 2008 ceremony. Disappointed, I tried harder, and eventually my super supportive boss/friend Auria turned me onto weightwatchers.com. Altogether, I lost about 20 pounds in 2008, but almost all of that happened pre-Autumn. Hovering in the low 180s (just as I did after my first fitness bet) was enough to make me get compliments on looking better, but I knew I was still overweight, and stuck. Enter Katy.

I just summarized the events of the Former Fatties 2009 a few days ago, so I'll just say that it (and she) pushed me beyond a threshold I never thought I'd cross. It has gradually sunk in that I am actually kinda thin now:

Lately I kinda fluctuate between 160 and 165 pounds, so on a good day, I've lost 45 pounds. I'd really love to hit 155 because I've always said I'd throw a 50 Pounds Party, but really, I'm not sure how much less I should weigh. I've worked out extremely hard over the last two years, but never with the consistency that I think I need to. I could just still be much more toned. Essentially - yes, I'm thin, but before we know it we will be at the beach. After a lifetime of "trying" to lose weight and two years of actually trying, I'd like to turn some heads this summer. And I don't want to live in fear of slipping back to my old self (unless it is to that first picture. Life was great then.)

And so my goals for this chapter of the Former Fatties are:

Food: Keep track of what I'm eating, and stay within an acceptable level of intake. Make the healthiest choices possible.

I am going to be doing this by using WeightWatchers online to count "points." This is a fancy way of making sure that I'm eating the right amount with thankfully little guesswork. And it is hella flexible. I will also be trying to reach WW's "Healthy Guidelines" every day, which essentially means eating tons of produce, lean protein, whole grains, some dairy, and drinking water constantly. I need to track every point every day in order to stay balanced for the week, therein lies my "Food Goal."

Fitness: Workout six times a week.

It is time for me to accept that in order to go from "not fat" to "so fit," "hot," "Efronesque," or whatever you want to call it, I need to workout hard. I am going to be completing BeachBody's Insanity program. I do not want to miss a day. The time is now.

Free Form (for this week): Get ready for an incredible year.

For tons of reasons, this year is going to be a really important one for me. A lot has changed recently so I'm doing my best to get organized, purged of clutter, and in a routine that will facilitate me really growing into the person I've always known I could/should be. So far, so good.

This whole summary of my life has been entirely focused on my waistline, and maybe that is because a lot of my life has been too. I feel really ready to put that behind me. I've been a musician since before I could read, own just about every Muppet movie and can hold my breath through the entire Midtown Tunnel. Someone once called me Boyonce´ and I have since lived my life trying to prove them right. I want facts like these to be how people describe me instead of, "Oh...you know Bobby? Fair skin...loves pizza..."

OK...I will always love pizza.

Re: Breakfast of Champions

I think breakfast is the rut-iest of meals, E. I've never been one to get over-excited about breakfast foods like every other person in Earth. (I'll get excited about pancakes and bacon for dinner the day you serve me chicken parmesan for bed.)

I usually eat one some variation of one of the following:

• FiberOne + SpecialK + Low Fat/Fat Free Yogurt + A Banana if we have one. The whole thing comes in between 3 and 5 points, depending on the variables, but sweet it can be so delicious. If the yogurt is cherry it can end up tasting like an amazing iced cream cone (this may be because Cherry Garcia is my fave iced cream flavor. Is it "iced" cream? Help me out here commentors.)
• Egg whites on a sandwich flat. Only two points!
• Usually I'm in a hurry and end up taking a FiberOne bar or almonds and a piece of fruit. Both are scrumptious and nutritious in their own way.

My bigger problem with breakfast lately is that on a day when I don't work until later, I stay in bed in the morning and don't end up eating till hours after I actually wake up. Not good (but I'm doing that right this second.)

Keep it up with the smoothie attempts, Liz. Let us know how they turn out! And thanks for reminding me about the genius that is peanut butter for breakfast. I'm going to have it today if I ever actually get out of bed.

Breakfast of Champions

I've been in a breakfast rut lately. Eating the same thing again and again: cheerios, peanut butter, eggs...it all seems kind of blah to me. So this morning I decided to jazz it up with a Smoothie.

I grabbed strawberries, Greek yogurt, and splenda and put it all into my blender but than added another ingredient....

Strawberries and a Banana sounded like a winning combination.

So I threw them all into the blender

and.......

I had really high hopes of this being delicious but it was okay. I think my downfall was the fact that the greek yogurt was honey flavored and that didn't go with my strawberries and bananas idea. I look forward to trying it again with a different yogurt but definitely a Greek yogurt because those are so filling! Its been a few hours since I had this and I am still not hungry.

What do you guys eat for breakfast?

Allow me to introduce myself!

My name is Liz and I am the newest former fatty. I am so happy to

join Katy and Bobby on the blog and this journey to wellness.

Thanks for the kind intro guys!

A little bit about myself, this is me:

I have been chubby my whole life. After a breakdown in my family kitchen, my always supportive mother took me to my first weight watchers meeting at 13. I was chubby throughout high school but in college my weight gain got serious. It may have had something to due with the excessive binge drinking, awful fatty cafeteria food, or "fat bitches" which are sandwiches that were purchased at 3am from a truck.

Post college I ventured to Alaska to volunteer for a year at my highest weight ever. Here are some embarrassing pictures from my going away party. While it was a great party, as you can see from the bar dancing, I was mortified when I saw these pictures and immediately de-tagged them from Facebook.

Once in Alaska things started to change. I went to a doctor and learned just how serious things were. At 23 my bloodwork was already in trouble: high cholesterol, high C reactive proteins,

my LDLs were too high, and my HDLs were too low. I was far too young to have these medical concerns. Plain and simple I had to lose the weight.

AND I DID! 30POUNDS TO BE EXACT!!!! Holler!

I did it by eating healthy, working with a nutritionist, going to yoga and spinning class, and having really supportive roommates.

My year in Alaska was life changing in so many ways.

Here are me and the rommies:

Than I moved back to NY and many things changed: I became a vegetarian, got a new job, no longer had a nutritionist, new gym, had money, and was living with my parents. During my 1st year back I pretty much maintained my weight loss and focused on activity goals.

I ran a half marathon:

Finished a triathlon:

And climbed a mountain:

While I had tons of great successes in 2009 I was disappointed with my weight loss. It was great that I maintained but now I am ready to keep losing the pounds.

So my goals for this year are:

FOOD:

- Eat healthy! Write down everything that I eat into my food journal and decrease binge eating behavior.
FITNESS:
- Continue working out: yoga, spinning classes, and training sessions.
FREE-FORM:
- I am going to work on thinking positively. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I want to catch my negative thoughts about myself and the world and turn them into positive thoughts.

My goal is to lose 2 pounds a week for three months resulting in a total weight loss of 24lbs over the next three months!

I think I was excited for my 1st blog so this may have been a longer blog but I'm happy to be a former fatty!!!!

Katy's back

I’m happy to be back, and really happy that Liz is going to be a part of this from now on. We all met last night and had dinner at Crisp, which is a delicious inexpensive quick meal in NYC. As Bobby mentioned, we all have different goals this time around so over dinner, we brainstormed, chatted and chewed our way to this new idea.

Essentially I came to the realization that I will not be rewarded for every good choice I make in life, so instead of taking a competition approach to this round, we are looking at it as making lifestyle choices that will stick forever.

Therefore, my ultimate goal is to make healthy, mindful choices that allow me to lose 1lb/week over the next 3 months, totaling a 12 lb loss. Which is scary to think that at that point, I could essentially be done with my weight loss journey.

Over the holidays, I've gained a couple pounds. My birthday, Christmas, Vacation to Florida to see Alex's family, New Years, all brought with them a cornucopia of baked goods and booze. And zero exercise. That's changing now. Another thing that's changing is my diet. I watched Food Inc this weekend and it was really eye-opening for me; never before had I really given much consideration to how the food that I put in my body had been prepared. Therefore, I am now going to make an effort to stop eating meat and start eating organic whenever I can.

Of course, week one and all 3 of us are heading out of town. I am going skiing in Vermont with my family and my boyfriend, Alex. Fortunately, my mom’s doing Weight Watchers and Alex is also making a sincere effort to watch what he eats and lose weight, so I will be in good company.

This week specifically my goals are:
FOOD:
- Track what I eat. Stay within my allotted 20 Weight Watchers points per day and 35 weekly points.
FITNESS:
- Exercise 2x in the fitness room at our condo. Try skiing for at least 1 day (I don’t ski, don’t really like it, have been traumatized.)
FREE-FORM:
- Overall, I’m just going to try to keep it under control on our mini-vaca, and not get stressed out (funny how family vacations do that).

See you on the slopes.

THE FORMER FATTIES: The New Class

Alright, so maybe we ended 2009 on a whimper, but we still had a hell of a year. For those of you just joining us, a bit of history:

In January of 2009, Katy and I were on one of our patented drunken dinner dates agonizing over the fact that we'd both lost a significant amount of weight in early 2008, but had long since plateaued. After realizing that we were both competitive to the point of alienating all of our friends at dinner parties, we decided to have a bet to see who could lose the most weight by Memorial Day 2009.

Looking back on that time, its really incredible how dedicated we were, although if you read a lot of our posts, you'll see we both had our ups and downs. I pulled out ahead early on, but ultimately Katy proved victorious. Altogether, 42.6 pounds were lost, two lives were significantly changed, and one friendship went from a fun work-ish thing to a co-dependent life-partner thing.

We both enjoyed our first skinny summers (aka we drank and ate) and by the fall, we were struggling. Neither of us had really put on weight, but the Former Fatties we used to be would have been ripped by that point. Ashamed at who we'd become, we decided to lose weight the only way we knew how - by fighting each other to the death. Unfortunately we'd grown so comfortable with each other that neither of us posted any significant losses. A week or so before the bet was supposed to end, we called it off, deciding instead to try to invigorate ourselves for the new year. We knew that we had to do something different in order to rejuvenate our motivation.

And so, we've done what all couples do when the fire is dwindling: we've brought a third party into the mix! On behalf of Katy and myself, I'd like to extend a great warm Former Fattie welcome to Elizabeth!

Liz, one of my oldest and awesomest friends, is truly an inspiration. She decided to change her life and has since lost 30 pounds, run a half marathon, and completed a triathlon. Katy and I are really excited to learn from Liz, and to be there for her for all of the support that she needs.

Those of you who tune into the Former Fatties because you love a good blood bath may be disappointed to learn that this chapter of our journey will not be a direct competition. At this point, each of us is looking for something different out of the next few months, so we can't really be directly compared. We will instead offer three different stories, told alongside one another. Hopefully, this will show us and our numerous readers that our struggles are our own, but we are never alone in them. And don't worry, I'm sure we'll sass each other throughout.

We are hoping to set ourselves up for lifelong changes, but this particular chapter of the FF will last 3 months.

In the next few days, each of us will be introducing or re-introducing ourselves. In order to provide some consistency, we have each broken our goals down to our Food Goal and our Fitness Goal. Every Sunday or Monday, we will each address whether we met these goals, as well as a weekly Free Form Goal - which may or may not have to do with fitness/weightloss. The free form goal will serve as a dual reminder: it is not all about diet and exercise, but also, our success and outlook on diet and exercise are always tied to the rest of our lives.

We hope that you'll follow along with us, and share your similar stories, inspiration, support, and sassy antagonizations in the comments section.

Posts always look less boring with pictures, so here is a picture of vegetables and a tape measure: