Friday, January 30, 2009

Final days of reckless glory

In response to Bobby's entry below, I would just like to let America know that my dinner tonight included (but was not limited to) 2 crepes and 1/2 bottle of wine. I also had dessert with both my lunch and dinner.

It's restaurant week in NYC, so that's my excuse. I don't think we could have planned this better. It's like getting your last supper before you go on death row.

Except this isn't death row, and this is going to be awesome.

(PS. While Bobby points out how awful I am and that my main tactic in this competition will most definitely be sabotage, I just want to say that he is amazingly nice and messengered Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred DVD to me at work today. I was so pleasantly surprised when it wasn't just another reel for me to screen!)

My Final Fattie Friday.

On Tuesday when we were in preliminary stages of negotiating the Former Fattie deal, Katy said to me, "I can't decide if you are my friend or my enemy right now." She then said, "Really, you should eat a ton before the first weigh in, cause its easier to lose weight that you just put on." Based on the fact that I know she's been making healthy choices, I think she had probably decided I was an enemy. 

The next day I had General Tsao's chicken. Too much of it. With white rice. I got uncomfortably full but finished anyway. 

Yesterday I didn't have breakfast at home because I planned to get an all-fruit smoothie from Jamba Juice on the way into the studio. The V train came instead of the R though, dropping me off a full avenue away from JJ. I had no choice but to get 2 eggs, bacon and cheese on a roll. I had a hunk of salmon for lunch at around 2:30. When I got home I told Craig I wasn't going to eat with him because I had eaten so much I was just going to have "something very light." I then sat on the couch for an hour brainstorming what that meant. The best answer I could come up with? A "British Burger," which is what our local diner calls a half pound burger with bacon, swiss, and caramelized onions. With a side of curly fries.

Finally, today--my final Fattie Friday--I told my dad that I didn't care where we went to lunch so long as they had to give my pasta its own plate because there was too much chicken parmesan on my main dish. 

Each of these meals has been delicious and I like that on Weight Watchers, I never have to declare that I am giving these foods up forever. However, I now feel so gross that I am planning to spend my Friday night curled up in a ball digesting. The obvious lesson is that eating crap all the time is horrible for you. What I'm actually taking away though, is that Katy is can not be trusted. Game on.

Another Theory.

Due to my abnormally large skull, and the fact that I'm going to be doing more fat burning than muscle building, its entirely possible that I end up looking more like this:

A preview.

I just thought you guys might like a little glimpse into the future.

Fast forward 4 months from now, and this is what you're going to see.

Summer 2009. Me and BoRo, coming to a South shore Long Island beach near you.

Former Fatties Official Rules

With only 2 days until the competition begins, both Bobby and I have reviewed and signed off on the rules for the contest. We are rip-roaring ready to go, and excited to kick our own (and each others) fat asses.

Dates of the contest
• The entire contest is 16 weeks.
• The first half of the contest runs from Sunday, Feb 1 until Sunday, March 1.
• The contest as a whole runs from Sunday, Feb 1 until May 22

• The winner of the first heat (Farewell Fatty February) wins a $30 Trader Joe’s gift card, paid for by the loser.
• The winner of the entire contest (Feb 1 – May 22) wins a $150 shopping spree at the retailer of their choice, paid for by the loser. The loser will accompany the winner on the shopping venture.

Weighing in/Tallying the results
• Understanding that men and women lose weight differently, results will be calculated based on percentage of weight lost (from the original weight). At each quarterly weigh in, the percentage will be calculated against the starting weight (Feb 1).
• Whoever has lost the greatest percentage of weight, wins. This may not directly correlate to the actual poundage lost.
• The first weigh in is on Sunday, Feb 1 for both parties. The first heat ends with a weigh in on Sunday, March 1. The final weigh in is on Friday, May 22. These weigh ins are shared between Bobby and Katy.
• In the interim, there will be quarterly weigh ins, to measure individual progress. This is an unofficial weigh in, and not necessarily shared with one another. These will take place on March 29 and April 26.
• Weigh ins take place first thing in the morning, naked, after taking a pee (if necessary).
• Weights are calculated to the tenth of a point.
• Weigh in results are shared between Bobby and Katy and based upon the honor system.

The Blog
• The blog,, is a place where both parties will journal their daily point usage Monday through Friday of every week. This may or may not include a detailed list of the food eaten and it’s equivalent points values, exercise log, etc.
• Additionally, it is open space to discuss anything related to the contest and the weight loss journey.
• Pictures (front and side views), which will be taken at the start, end, and every quarterly weigh in, will be posted on the website at an undisclosed date when both parties decide they are comfortable exposing themselves on the World Wide Web.

Bonus points
• You get a point by following the 8 Healthy Guidelines 5 out of 7 days a week, and by working out 4 out of 7 days a week. (The last week of the challenge, only 4 days of HGs are necessary due to the short week.)
• The 8 Healthy Guidelines as recommended by Weight Watchers, and can be found at However, in FF, only one dairy is necessary (not 2), and vitamins are not necessary to complete the 8HGs.
• Four bonus points equals one pound off of the final weigh in, adding up to as much as 8 pounds by the final weigh in.
• At least 30 minutes of straight exercise constitutes 1 workout. Working out for 1.5 hours straight is still 1 workout, not 3. However, with a minimum of 4 hours between exercising, workouts can be counted separately. For example, if you exercise both before and after work for at least 30 minutes each, that’s 2 workouts for the day.
• The acquisition of bonus points is to be noted on the blog as they are earned.
• Bonus points can be earned starting February 1, but only count towards the final weigh in on May 22.
• Achieving bonus points each week starts on Monday and ends on Sunday.
• HG points expire every Sunday. If a contestant works out more or less than 4 times in a week, any spare workouts may be carried over to the total workouts of either the week before or the week after only. (Disney Time Share System) No more than 1 workout point can be gained per week (so putting 8 workouts in 1 week does not earn 2 points).

Accountability Clause/Cheating
• Although this is a competition, the main idea is to have fun while getting healthy. Please do not lie to one another, and if asked a question or for advice, do not lie. Entenmann’s cookies are not 4 points for the entire box, so don’t tell me so.
• Also, we have no way of verifying that the weights and daily points used that we share with each other are in fact, true. We are going on the honors system, and knowing that if you cheat, you are really just cheating yourself.
• If a contestant lies, God will not let him/her into heaven.
• Most importantly, let’s have fun, okay?

May the best (wo)man win.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My sixpack is itchy.

One of the things I'm most looking forward to this summer is whenever I get an itchy stomach. That way I can scratch it while lifting my shirt and everyone in the room will think, "Note to self: get Bobby naked." 

Little secret: sometimes my stomach won't really be itchy. 

Katy is right.

I'm going to lose more weight than she could ever dream of. 

Going on record.

Bobby is going to lose.