Monday, February 15, 2010

All or Nothing: One Woman's Search for Balance

How do you like the title of this post? I am considering it as the title of my autobiography.

The past few weeks (or maybe years...) I have been searching for more balance in my life. I have really intense, fantastic, the-world-cant-get me down highs, and in as quick as a few minutes, I have really intense, awful, lonely, nothing, dark lows. I want more balance in my life. I want to appreciate the good and realize, know the bad.

This is especially imperative in my weight loss and self-esteem stuff. When I dream, fantasize, or imagine myself I either look like this (in the future):

(How hot is Lily Cole?)
Or I imagine myself to look like this (this could be present, past, or future):
Rarely do I see this girl:

The same goes with my food. It's either nice, healthy, controlled eating or BINGE CITY! I need to be able to eat healthy and unhealthy (in moderation) and let it be OKAY! Not let one or two unhealthy choices become a week to just give up.

Also I need to be okay with who I am right now. I realize that a lot of my posts discuss "the woman I want to be." I think I have to let go of her a bit and allow myself to be the woman I am because she is pretty fantastic. I want to appreciate, accept, and love the person I am while still striving to grow, learn, and become a stronger woman.

This seems like a life goal that is worth pursuing.

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